Forced positivity can be toxic when it comes at the cost of what is true. 

When we try and change how we feel, it can leave us feeling that what is actually being experienced is wrong and shameful and is the reason we struggle.

Forced positivity can inadvertently make us feel like we need to shut down and lock away parts of ourselves, especially the hurt, angry or resentful parts.

This in turn impacts vulnerability and authenticity because we imagine only the shiny happy parts are ok to show.

Vulnerability and authenticity are the foundation for intimacy and without them our relationships are unlikely to find solid ground.

Encouraging and suggesting forced positivity is actually a form of gas lighting and is more likely to trap trauma deeper in our being.

Allowing the hurt, pain, anger, frustration or futility to be felt in connection with another in a space of unconditional love actually allows it to release.

Being with what is.....

Allows all that is kept in the darkness to come to the light so it can be released. Sharing and feeling our shadow selves brings a deep relief. 

The allowing enables an illumination of more of us and in so doing brings more of us into being not less.

If you want to understand how trauma is impacting your clients. 

Understand how to recognise it and listen in a way that allows hurts to heal you may be interested in joining the next round of my Embodied Wisdom Training - from theory to practice.